Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
