the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
