In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize