Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Randomize
