Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize