i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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