I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize