See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
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