You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
