Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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