the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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