its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize