My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
