so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
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