I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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