So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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