Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
