I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
