so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Randomize
