totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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