first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
