So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
