some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Randomize
