My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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