You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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