Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
