check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
So apparently I’m into choking now
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
