I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
