ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Randomize
