I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
