I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
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