no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize
