just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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