Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
