you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
