Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Randomize
