this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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