i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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