you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
