So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
she told me i tasted like america
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize