a queef is a wish your heart makes.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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