Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
