found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
