Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
