this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
