Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
How's work?
Spinning.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Randomize
