Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize