Will you blow on my dice?
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
How does one acquire holy water?
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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