I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
