physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
