i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
