You were right. It hurts to walk today.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
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