and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
