If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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