I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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