How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
thus making me awesome and them whores
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Randomize
