Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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