So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Randomize
