I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
