i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Randomize
