The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
